The Leadership Skill No One Taught You: Vulnerability
At work you polish your résumé, prep your Zoom background, and edit every email— you’ve seen firsthand that being buttoned-up and bulletproof wins you respect. But what if the real power of great leaders doesn’t come from perfection, but from learning how to be your authentic, vulnerable self. Yes, even at work.
Let’s begin with a clear definition of those two related - but different - ideas:
Being authentic means accurately representing who you are without faking or filtering to please the room.
Being vulnerable means choosing to share what might open you up to attack when you could easily keep silent or cover up.
Sometimes workplaces truly are toxic, but most of the time it’s actually YOU who stops yourself from going into these deeper relational places at work. It often seems better to play it safe, and keep people from knowing the “real you.”
The push towards authentic and vulnerable connection is found throughout the Bible. I wrote my recent book about the five kinds of relationships God created you to have. None of them are formed with squeaky-clean, surface-level professional performance. Taking a step towards authenticity and vulnerability (a little at a time with solid people) can unlock powerful levels of game-changing connection. You’ll find you can be at work with a deeper sense of peace.
Here are five ways authenticity and vulnerability help you win at work:
1. Authenticity Helps You Find Your Place—and Your People
Trying to “read the room” and adapt your personality at work might help you avoid conflict, but it won’t help you find belonging. When you constantly edit yourself to match the culture or please your manager, you miss out on discovering the colleagues, mentors, or opportunities that fit the real you. The right doors for you open more easily when you’re being authentic.
When you bring your actual self to work—your communication style, your values, your perspective—you give others the chance to respond authentically, too. Yes, some coworkers may not vibe with your energy. But the ones who do? Those are the teammates who become collaborators, mentors, and long-term allies in your career.
“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” Proverbs 11:3
2. Authenticity Builds Respect—Even from Those Who Disagree
You don’t need to be liked by everyone at work to be respected. In fact, trying to play it safe and please everyone can water down your impact. When you speak up with clarity, hold to your convictions, and lead from your values, you stand out—and people take notice.
Even those who don’t share your views will likely respect your honesty and courage. Authenticity says, “I’m not here to perform—I’m here to contribute.” That kind of presence commands attention in meetings, earns credibility in leadership, and invites trust in team dynamics.
“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but whoever takes crooked paths will be found out.” Proverbs 10:9
3. Vulnerability Builds Trust and Stronger Collaboration
I have to remind myself often that being at work isn’t just about tasks—it’s about people. I’ve learned that sometimes my relentless focus on what I’m doing can cause me to overlook people sitting right in front of me. That creates a level of separation that hurts trust.
Vulnerability is the fast-track to trust-building. Trust creates the conditions for connections to thrive. When I am willing to say things like, “I don’t know yet,” or “I made a mistake,” or “This project really matters to me,” these softer answers humanize the workplace. And people respond to that.
You don’t need to share your life story with your coworkers. But sharing a little context—like why a certain goal is personally meaningful or admitting when you feel stretched—invites your team into a deeper level of connection. What would it look like to go one level below the polished version of work-you? That kind of honesty helps teams function better, solve problems faster, and feel safer working together.
“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
4. Vulnerability Breaks the Grip of Impostor Syndrome
So many professionals carry the silent weight of impostor syndrome. That voice in your head that says, “You’re not good enough,” or “You don’t belong here.” Shame and fear feed off secrecy. But vulnerability with a trusted colleague or mentor—starts to break that cycle. Choose someone you trust and try telling them the next time you hear that voice in your head.
You’re not alone in your insecurities. And saying them out loud doesn't make you weak—it makes you free. It loosens the grip of shame and fear, and it creates space for others to say, “Me too.” That kind of workplace honesty creates cultures where people grow, instead of just grind.
“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” — Proverbs 12:25
5. Authenticity + Vulnerability = Professional Freedom
When you work from a place of authenticity and vulnerability, you experience real freedom. You stop walking on eggshells. You stop trying to manage every impression. You start to speak up without the weight of second-guessing every word. You contribute more boldly. You take healthy risks.
Sure, not everyone will understand you. Some may question your style. You might get passed up for an opportunity that wasn’t going to be a good fit for you anyway. That’s why being authentic and vulnerable at work is risky. But in the long run, it will align what’s on the inside with what you’re doing at work on the outside. And that brings peace, confidence, and enduring connection.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23
So What’s Holding You Back?
Do you want work to stop feeling like a performance? This is the way.
If your last attempt at vulnerability was used against you…or you over-shared… or you're just afraid of being misunderstood, you might have thick walls of self-protection. Start over with one small step: offer one simple vulnerability to one person and watch for the response. As you wade into these deeper relational waters over time, you will build a reputation of trustworthiness that makes people want to follow your lead.
You weren’t made to be a curated version of yourself—not even at work. Every step towards freedom is risky. But it’s worth it.
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